If only downsizing was as simple as packing up the things you love and taking them to a new place.
But it’s not. Downsizing can be an emotional experience which catches people by surprise. It’s a major life event as significant as moving out of home for the first time, relocating to a new city or starting a family.
Many people report being overwhelmed by downsizing and sometimes feeling depressed.
In this article, we look at how to mentally cope with downsizing and to ensure that it is a positive experience.
What Emotions Hold Back the Downsizing Process?
Perhaps you feel you aren’t truly ready, even after you recognise the signs that it is the right time downsize.
Is it a battle between head and heart, where logic dictates that downsizing is the right decision, but emotions are holding you back from beginning the process?
If that’s the case, then know you’re not alone.
Emotions such as anxiety, grief, and depression are important to acknowledge. Take the time to understand their underlying cause and develop strategies to cope.
Let’s take a look at some of these causes:
Being Afraid of Change
Human beings are creatures of habit. We love predictability because it gives us a feeling of security. When our lives fall into a comfortable routine, we don’t have to spend as much mental energy or pay as much attention in getting through our day. You might be surprised how many complex tasks we do a day without really thinking about them.
However, when our routine is broken, we’re forced to pay attention to our present situation and that can be stressful – and not to mention annoying.
Deciding to downsize is a big change. It is a leap into the unknown – even if the location you’re moving to is already familiar.
Feeling a Sense of Loss
Typically, the decision to downsize doesn’t happen in isolation. It is often accompanied by a major emotional life event such as retirement, bereavement, divorce, or family relocation.
That sense of loss is the experience of a chapter closing on a significant era of your life and it’s understandable that memories, both good and bad, might come flooding in.
Guilt
Downsizing a home inevitably means reducing the number of things you own and that can bring on feelings of guilt.
How many of these resonate with you?
- Grandmother’s silver tea set, sitting in the back of the cupboard.
- The boxes of children’s school reports and photos that haven’t seen the light of day in the two decades since they finished high school.
- General household flotsam and jetsam gathered over the years that leaves you wondering how you managed to waste so much money on gadgets that were never used.
You know many of these things can’t come with you and it may also be that no one in the family is willing to accept the responsibility for keeping them.
Knowing these things need to be sold, given away or even thrown away, can add to the emotional burden you’re already carrying.
5 Ways to Mentally Cope for Downsizing in Retirement
Now we have the bad news out of the way, let’s focus on the good news.
There are ways to deal with these negative emotions and, with a little reframing, you might find experiencing positive emotions such as joy and excitement is much more common.
Looking at your move as rightsizing your home and lifestyle is a more positive, and accurate way of describing this phase of your life.
The first step is to understand all the downsizing options available so you can avoid making some common downsizing mistakes.
The next is to look at some strategies to deal with the emotional impact of downsizing.
Be Honest About How You’re Feeling
It’s okay to be a little angry, frustrated and sad. All of these are normal to experience.
But here is something to know about emotions – they are simply signposts to tell us that there is something important to pay attention to. The secret is working out what the real issue is.
Unresolved issues from the past, triggered by objects around your home, have a sneaky way of creeping up on you when you least expect it.
If you find yourself experiencing a wave of emotion during the downsizing process, just stop for a moment. Acknowledge that emotion, then examine why you feel that way.
Chances are that it’s not the object that’s made you mad or even the idea of downsizing itself.
If you are finding yourself becoming too emotional, stop and do something else until you feel more like yourself again.
Make a Plan & Start Small
How do you eat an elephant? One bite at a time.
It’s an old joke that holds an important truth – large tasks can be broken down into bite-sized pieces to make it more manageable.
Professional organisers suggest starting small and making it a habit. Getting rid of a little bit of clutter each day does make a difference and prevents you from becoming overwhelmed.
Learn more on practical tips and strategies for downsizing here.
Get Support & Ask for Help
Whether it is physical help to declutter, downsize and pack or whether it is emotional support you need, don’t be afraid to ask for it.
Family and friends often don’t appreciate how stressful moving house can be, but they may be all too willing to help if asked. Don’t be afraid to call upon your extended support network – friends from work, church or social clubs – for assistance.
The important thing to remember is that you are in control of your emotions and circumstances. Don’t focus on regrets. Instead, look forward to the opportunities that your move provides.
Psychologist Jacqueline Simon Gunn has some great strategies on how to cope with the emotional side of downsizing.
“Closing life chapters – leaving a time in our life behind — can rouse a variety of emotions. Melancholic longing for time passed is one of the most pronounced,” she said.
“However, most people report being thrilled with the decision once they move. Once the downsizing is done, it seems people are better able to embrace this life change and see it as a time of hope and new beginnings.”
Gain Control of Your Possessions
The objects we surround ourselves with reveals a lot about our personality and style. After a while, those possessions might become so strongly associated with us that the thought of giving them up might be as heart-wrenching as losing a beloved pet or even family member.
Because many of these objects are associated with memories of family, travel and other happy times in our lives, people fear that to get rid of them is to lose the memory of them.
That is not the case. There are many ways to reduce the number of possessions without dishonouring the memory.
Before you put an object in the box – start thinking outside of it. For example, could a cabinet of sporting trophies be represented by a photo of the sporting achievement and picture of the trophies in a nice frame instead?
Memory boxes are also an especially useful way of managing small sentimental possessions that won’t necessarily be put on display. It allows you to keep those objects in one box to keep safe, thereby reducing the sense of loss that might come with decluttering.
Don’t Rush the Process
You’ve taken the time to carefully consider your rightsized new home, so it makes sense to take just as much time and attention in downsizing a lifetime’s worth of possessions.
Start with the easy stuff – the items which don’t have any sentimental value – and take your time over the process.
Enjoy the memories they evoke and then decide whether it has a place in your new home
Sue Spencer, Kon Marie expert, and author of A Life More Organised, offers this tip.
“Making a week-by-week plan of what you want to work on means that you can gradually tick things off rather than rushing as you get closer to the move,” she says.
Why Choose to Downsize to Lifestyle Resort Like GemLife
There are so many reasons to consider a rightsized move to a GemLife over-50s lifestyle resort. And we’re delighted to list just a few here.
The facilities
People who see a GemLife resort remark that it’s like living in a luxurious five-star resort. And we agree! Our resort facilities are first rate and designed especially for active over-50s with plenty of opportunities to enjoy sports and fitness, with a fully equipped gymnasium, tennis and pickleball courts, lawn bowls, golf simulator, ten-pin bowling, heated swimming pool, and much more.
The impressive Country Club, featuring a grand ballroom, theatre stage, beauty salon, and library provides many opportunities for homeowners to socialise in the well-appointed creative arts studio, games and music room, coffee lounge, residents bar, and wine lounge.
The homes
GemLife’s modern and spacious homes feature luxurious inclusions such as extra high ceilings, ducted air conditioning and stacker doors to create an open flow between the living and dining areas and the generous alfresco space.
The kitchens will delight those who love to entertain, with premium European built-in appliances and walk-in pantry. Each home features two-bedrooms and two-bathrooms along with a multifunction room ideal for a home study, library or craft room. Master bedrooms include impressive walk-in robes and double vanity ensuites.
Furthermore, GemLife homes are constructed to be energy efficient. Homeowners enjoy the benefit of greatly reduced power bills because of our industry-leading Virtual Power Plant program. Some of our homeowners receive no electricity bills at all!
The lifestyle
Most of all, GemLife homeowners enjoy a fantastic lifestyle where they can finally put themselves first, whether it is enjoying much-earned leisure time, reigniting a passion for long-neglected hobbies or finally indulging in a passion for travel.
Resident-organised entertainment and activities, means there are plenty of opportunities to make new friends.
In addition, those who are keen to explore the wonders of Australia can do so in style through the Explore by GemLife program where homeowners can hire state-of-the-art motorhomes from our exclusive fleet.
Our locations
GemLife resorts are located in some of the most desirable seachange and tree change locations in Australia. Our resorts are positioned to be close to everyday amenities including shops and medical facilities, in addition to all the popular highlights that make these destinations so popular.
The financial freedom
Most of all, GemLife homeowners enjoy the financial freedom to enjoy the best years of their lives without worrying about entry and exit fees, deferred management fees and other hidden charges that come with the traditional retirement village model.
GemLife is a land lease community which means homeowners enjoy the security of owning their own home and simply paying a modest weekly site rental which covers the maintenance of the resort.
That’s it – no hidden charges or fees and you even keep the capital gains should you decide to sell.
Why Our Residents Love GemLife
GemLife homeowners love the whole new life they’ve discovered at our over 50s lifestyle resorts. They’ve discovered that by downsizing from their family-sized homes, they’ve gained so much more terms of friendships and lifestyle, including the lock-up-and-leave convenience of living a gated community.
Les and Karen from GemLife Pacific Paradise
Queensland couple, Les and Karen Taylor, didn’t expect to fall in love with GemLife and move into an over-50s lifestyle resort.
It was merely by chance that the couple came across GemLife Pacific Paradise. In fact, it was their friends who were looking for over-50s communities to downsize.
“I offered to look around the Sunshine Coast for them, I wasn’t even looking for us, but when we saw the concept, we thought, ‘This is too good to be true.’
Les, 69 and Karen, 56, reveal what sold them on GemLife. “There were three things that decided us,” Les explained.
“First was the financial flexibility. Downsizing from a family home to this provides financial flexibility for our retirement.
“Second, it’s a secure, gated environment. It provides us with the ability to lock up and leave when we go travelling in our caravan. Also, there’s an age difference between Karen and me. I fell off a ladder recently and cracked my head open and it made me think, ‘If something happens to me, Karen won’t have to worry about maintenance, she’ll have people around and she’ll be safe.’
“Third, was the opportunity to be more socially active with like-minded people.”
Christine from GemLife Highfields
After a relationship break-up, Christine was considering her lifestyle options.
“I hadn’t decided whether I wanted to buy a little home somewhere in town or perhaps a unit,” she said. “My sister suggested I look at GemLife Highfields. I told her I didn’t think an over-50s resort would be right for someone like me, but I went anyway and met Jenny, (GemLife Highfields sales consultant Jennifer Rickwood), and I was sold immediately.
“The homes I saw were absolutely beautiful and as a solo woman, I like the idea of a secure community, especially one that’s so close to everything I need. I can take my dog and walk to Highfields shopping centre and go to the newly built library, not to mention walking all around the resort.”
Be a Part of GemLife’s Social Close-Knit Community
Deciding it’s the right time to downsize is a big life decision. Luckily, the team at GemLife makes downsizing easy when it’s time to start the next chapter.
GemLife carefully selects each resort location to ensure our residents experience the best of over 50s living to help kick start their next chapter.
With state-of-the art amenities, facilities and homes, GemLife provides the perfect lifestyle for those looking to ‘rightsize’.
For more information, reach out to our specialist team or request an info pack.
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